Puppy Days
by Phillip the Shinx
Summary: Kiba accidentally  and stupidly  drinks a potion that turns him into a...hmm...maybe I shouldn't tell you. Anyway with his "condition" Naruto has to take care of him. What kind of chaos will erupt from this event? Warning: Includes Kiba being tortured.
1. Chapter 1

**Puppy Days**

**Disclaimer: I think I'm suppose to type something here... could it possibly be that I don't own Naruto? Sadly yes... :(**

**Kiba's POV**

I slowly walked away from the hospital as the heavy feelings of worry and guilt weighed over my shoulders. My dog, Akamaru, has gotten a severe case of food poisoning after eating out of a garbage dump when I wasn't looking. Now my best buddy since childhood's staying in a hospital for two weeks because of my carelessness. **(umm...Kiba...you're still a kid) **Shut up. Anyway I was deeply depressed.

With my mind deep in thought, I wandered aimlessly through the streets. As you may have already guessed, I wasn't watching where I was going. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted as a certain loudmouth blond dumped a bucket of ice cold water on me. Luckly I had my hoodie on, otherwise I would of been even more wet and the blond would of been dead. Instead I punched him in the gut. Hard.

A loud,"OWWWWW!" echoed through the streets as Naruto got the wind knocked out of him. I don't even know how that's possible. I mean, he had the wind knocked out of him and yet he still had enough air to yell? This guy is unbelievable.

After catching his breath he managed to yell, "What was that for?" Wow, is he stupid or something?

"You dumped a bucket of water that's as cold as Antarctica on me and then you wonder why I punched you?" I asked, rather annoyed at his stupidity.

"Hey, it's not my fault that you weren't paying attention! I yelled your name and and waved my hand in your face but you were still in your little la la land!" Naruto shot back angrily.

"Oh yeah? Well- wait why were you trying to get my attention?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I was planning to get a dog but I didn't have enough money to pay for one at the Pet Shop so I wanted to ask you where there would be cheaper ones." Naruto replied.

I gaped at him in complete disbelief_. Is Naruto asking me for advise? _I wondered in shock. For those of you who don't personally know Naruto, this is _not _normal. The Naruto that I know does _not _normally ask people for advise. RUN! THE APOCOLIPSE IS APON US! (I hope I spelled it right.) I snapped out of my thoughts long enough to tell him that he should try to find an animal rescue center and try to find a dog put up for adoption.

"Thanks!" yelled Naruto as he ran down the dark streets. Wait, dark? I looked up to find the moon hovering in the night sky. Was it this late already? I'd better start going home, my family's probably worried. The last time I came home late, my mom attacked me with a frying pan for making her worry so much. I don't get it, why do all angry mothers attack people with kitchen equiptment? They either come at your with frying pans or kitchen knives. This is one of the mysteries the world will never solve. Why was I late? Well, to tell you the truth, I lost a bet to Naruto so he put a collar on me and leashed me to a tree. The leash was one of those industrial strenth ones and it took a decent chunk of my time to snap it in half. What was the bet? Um...I rather not tell you. **(oooooh, everyone look! Kiba's blushing!) **Shut up you stupid narrater. **(Um, Kiba, in this fanfic **_**you**_** are the narrater. I'm the author.) **So since _I'm_ the narrater, you shouldn't interrupt! **(But this is **_**my**_** fanfic!) **Everyone listen to me and ignore enything that's in parenthesis. **(HEY! That's not nice! Your gonna regret this!)**

Anyway, I was on my way back home when I came across this fancy-looking bottle in the middle of the street. Out of curiousity I picked it up with great interest. **(*hint* curiousity killed the cat...or in this case the dog*hint*)** As you can clearly see, I'm completely ignoring the author. **(It's your funeral)** There was a small white tag on the bottle that read "Drink Me!" **(Wow, whoever put the bottle there is an idiot. Who in the world is stupid enough to fall for that?)** I suddenly realized how thirsty I was since I didn't eat or drink anything for the whole day. I stared at the bottle in my hand for a few moments and then drank all the bottle's contents in one gulp. **( O.o apparently I was wrong.) **The liquid in the bottle ttasted surprisingly good, kinda like fruit punch. With my dry throat relieved, I ran home. Halfway there, I suddenly felt a thick drowziness that overtook my ground came rushing toward my as the world went black.

* * *

Well, there goes chapter one. It's short i know, but I hope I did a good job. _**Review PLEASE!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Puppy Days

**Chapter 2**

BCY: Hi everybody! I'm _sooooooooooooooooooooo_ sorry for the massive delay of updates. You see, I'm moving to a new neighborhood and I was really busy packing and I was really b-

Kiba: Lazy.

BCY: SHUT UP! (Hits Kiba with frying pan and knocks him out.) Anyway I'm really sorry for my lateness so I decided to write this!

* * *

**The Incredibly Long and Unnecessary Disclaimer!**

There was quite a riot in New Hampshire yesterday afternoon when a _very_ large crowd gathered around a young author's house. The author, whose pen name is BCY, has taken the ownership of the popular anime/manga known as _Naruto _and is now paying the price. _Naruto _Fans from around the world were protesting and fighting against this switch of ownership. BCY's mailbox was overflowing with hate mail, death threats, and letters asking him to kill the _Naruto _character known as Sasuke Uchiha. One of the letters read:

Dear Stupid Auther

You _cannot_ own _Naruto _without becoming murdered. So I advise you to give up you F***ING BI***! If you don't, I will personally come at you with a pitchfork.

Best Wishes,

Somebody who hates you.

This letter's sender managed to somehow throw it through a brick wall and into BCY's house. Another letter was found inside an egg in his refrigerator. This one read:

Dear BCY,

Your electricity bill has been overdue for 7 years. If you wish to continue receiving electricity, please pay the total amount of $9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999.25 plus interest. Thank you very much and have a nice day.

Sincerely,

Your land lord

PS, Your rent is also overdue.

After a week of constant protesting, hate mail, and people standing outside his house holding torches and pitchforks, BCY finally decided to return the ownership of _Naruto_ to the original owner, Mr., Kishimoto. During our exclusive interview, BCY had this to say:

_"GO AWAY YOU STALKERS!"_

And this concludes our special report.

* * *

Kiba: ...

Naruto: O.o

BCY: And this is the (Kiba: *Cough* FAKE! *Cough*) reason why my update was delayed.

Naruto: Didn't you just tell us that the update was late because you were moving?

BCY: Oops...

Kiba: You're an idiot, who would believe something like _that?_

BCY: I don't know, who would pick up a random bottle off the street and drink it?

Kiba: SHUT UP! (Jumps at him)

BCY: Bring it! (whips out frying pan)

(Cartoon fight cloud covers both of them)

Naruto: 0.0 Well... lets start the story and then we can find out who wins at the end of the chapter.

(Lee magically appears)

Lee: _The flame of YOUTH! _(jumps off a bridge)

Naruto: O.O

* * *

The morning sun blared through my eyelids as I slowly regained consciousness. As I yawned and stretched out my legs, yesterday's events flooded back into my memory. I looked around, half expecting to be in a hospital, but what I saw was where I was before I passed out, in the middle of the street, except that it was morning and people were there. Some of them were walking by me as if I didn't exist while others were giving me looks of disgust. What the hell? I mean hello, I'm an unconscious kid on the road, so could they at least call the hospital?

I got up to walk home. Mom is gonna kill me for going missing for a whole night without telling her anything. As I strolled down the street, I suddenly noticed something strange. Was it just me or have I gotten shorter? I shook the thought away from my head. It was probably because I was still a bit drowsy.

As I walked by a small poor-looking shop, the owner came out and dumped a bucket of water on me. I was like, _holy sh**! First Naruto and now some crazy woman? Is it "Dump Buckets of Water on Kiba Week" or something? _I shot the shop owner an angry glare but she didn't even flinch. She even wacked me on the head with the bucket she was holding! I yelped as a lump formed on my head. The old lady shouted "Go away you mangy mutt!" and the kicked me away. I gasped as I fell to the wet ground, pain shooting through my body. **(HA HA! Kiba got beat up by an old lady!) **SHUT UP! Its bad enough to be called "dog breathe" by Naruto, but now I have to deal with this stupid author person! **(**_**The**_** Stupid Author person to you)** Anyway, as I got up to teach that old hag a lesson I caught sight of my reflection in the puddle under me and then I nearly fainted in shock and horror. _I WAS A DOG! _**(BWA HA HA HA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR IGNORING ME!) **

Oh god, why have you cursed me with such an appalling, dreadful, and horrendously terrible author? And I don't even know what appalling means!

**(Appalling: **_**adj. **_**1) to appall or change into the state of being appalled**

**To disgust or become improper.)**

Um…. Hey author, did you swallow a dictionary or something? **(Maybe….)**

Oooookay then…. Where was I? Oh yeah I was a dog. A DOG? I hurled down the street as quickly as my four legs could take me. Approximately 72.89 seconds later I reached the Inuzuka estate panting and gasping for breath. When I finally managed to jump and paw the door open, I hurried inside.

"Mom? Hana?" I tried to call out, but all I heard was, "Arf, bark bark!" Well, at least they understand dog-speak. They'll be able to take me to Lady Tsunade to get me healed. **(Oh really? I wonder what that note taped to the refrigerator says?) **Ok, what dastardly evil plan did you come up with this time? …..Hello? YAYZ! HE FINALLY SHUT UP! Wait, didn't he say something about a note? I swiftly ran to the fridge only to find that I was too short to even see the note. As I stared at the smooth surface of the refrigerator, I suddenly notice my reflection. I looked pretty handsome, even for a dog. **(WHAT? *COUGH! SPLUTTER! CHOKE!* *faints*) **I looked somewhat like a cross between a beagle and a Jack Russell terrier. I sighed. I still think that I look much better as a human. I quickly jumped on the kitchen table to get a closer look at the note the author mentioned. The loopy handwriting was definitely my mom's.

I suddenly screamed "WTF!" and fell off the table. The note on the refrigerator promptly read:

_Dear Kiba,_

_WHY THE HECK WEREN'T YOU HOME LAST NIGHT? Well I guess it's good news for us though. We wouldn't want you here anyway. The whole family is going on a surprise vacation to Hawaii and you just __had__ to be late for the night we leave. Well too bad for you, we're leaving. See you in another month!_

_Love,_

_Mom._

I HATE YOU STUPID AUTHOR! GO ROT IN HELL YOU CRAZY MONSTER! **(Hey! You know, I can still-) **I laid on the ground sobbing and bawling my eyes out. How could he? I frinkin' HATE him! **(*frantically* H-hey Kiba! Please don't cry! I-I um…. *thinking* I know! I'll go ahead in the story and rewrite it so its less painful! *quickly flips through pages*) **I hid my smirk under my paw. How can he be so stupid?

**

* * *

**

Two Hours Later

"YOU CALL THIS LESS PAINFUL?" I screamed as I ran down the streets like a missile. **(it got better, trust me! Before the rewrite, it involved another male dog in heat.) **You have an evil mind for an author, you know that? **(thank you. Good luck, I have to go get my daily cup of lemonade now. See ya!) **While the author helped himself with some lemonade, a very tired and very terrified me was being chased by a very annoyed, yet very determined group of dog catchers. The main question that formed in my mind at the moment was, "WHY THE HECK DO THE HAVE CHAIN SAWS?" I quickly squeezed through a crack in a fence, turned at a corner and sighed. I think I finally got away-

"Awww, you're so _cute!_" an all too familiar voice said as it picked me up. When I turned around, I was facing none other than the most idiotic ninja in the history of the village. Well, at least it was Naruto and not some other chain saw wielding dog catcher.

"I'm gonna keep you!" Naruto said happily as he hugged me.

"SAY WHAT?" I barked out loud. Of course, Naruto didn't understand me but he did hear it.

"Don't worry little doggy, I'm gonna take good care of you!" Naruto cooed softly as he carried me home. I sighed heavily. At least he cared about me, unlike some old lady I can mention. When we reached Naruto's house, he put me down on the floor and said "Wait here while I cook you dinner."

_Dinner?_ I thought with my ears perking up. I suddenly noticed that I haven't eaten since last night. My stomach growled fiercely as I sniffed around Naruto's apartment. It was average sized, nothing fancy, but I immediately notice the heave scent of ramen flowing around. There was suddenly a small _ding! _I turned around to see Naruto place a bowl of instant ramen on the ground.

"Sorry boy, I don't have any dog food yet. Hope this will do for know." Naruto said apologetically. I smiled as I began to help myself. There is no way in hell that I will begin eating dog food. Meanwhile, Naruto ate another bowl at his kitchen table. I finished off my ramen in a matter of seconds and fell asleep. A few minutes later, I was prod awake by Naruto.

"Hey boy, time to take your bath." Naruto said in a toothy grin. I immediately woke up and shot toward the other end of the room. There is absolutely no way that I will be bathed by Naruto. NEVER! But somehow, after chasing me around the house for a few hours, him finally locked me in the bathroom with a bathtub filled with steamy water. I sighed for the fifth hundredth time that day and jumped in the tub. I'm going to regret this. Suddenly the bathroom door opened to reveal Naruto wearing _absolutely nothing!_ AAAAAAUUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHHH! I'VE BEEN MENTALLY SCARRED FOR LIFE!

Naruto didn't seem to notice my pain as he jumped in the tub with me. NOOOOOOO! MORE MENTAL SCARS!

"Calm down boy!" Naruto laughed stupidly as he took a scrubber and started cleaning me. I slowly began to relax but I didn't dare to open my eyes. It actually felt good to have my belly scratched….. until he started scrubbing lower. Wait. H-he isn't going to go _there _is he? No, No, NO.

_**!**_

* * *

Naruto: O.O… wow…. They haven't stopped fighting yet.

Kiba: (with a black eye and torn clothing.) huff…huff…. I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

BCY: (with a couple of cuts but otherwise fine) Good luck with that!J

(Kiba jumps at BCY)

(BCY dodges and puts "sit" collar on him)

Kiba: WTF? Were you watching Inuyasha when you wrote this?

BCY: Yup! And now you're my slave! Go bake me a piece of pie!

Kiba: NEVER!

BCY: SIT!

(**BOOM!)**

Kiba: owie… where did you say the flour was? L (walks away)

Naruto: Wow…. You're evil.

BCY: Thank you! But I'm starting to run out of Ideas so please review to tell be more ways I can torture Kiba!

Kiba: Wait! Don't! He's evil enough alread-

BCY: SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!

(BOOM!)

(We are facing technical difficulties.)


	3. Chapter 3

BCY: Hi-ya guys! I'm sooooo sorry about updating so late!

Kiba: Your not gonna go off with a bunch of excuses are you?

BCY: I would never! And what excuses could I possibly come up with?

Kiba: You burned fourteen cookies, exploded a bottle of soda, and nearly poisoned your best friend with the cookies you made.

BCY: No! I made sure to bake the cookies for so long that they couldn't harbor any more toxic chemicals.

Kiba: O.O

BCY: Oh yeah, I would also like to announce that I have decided to _**NOT **_make this story a yaoi. I don't want any complaints from parents saying that I've ruined their kid's childhood.

BCY: Well anyway, I would like to thank Tsuki6047. Wait, I think she changed her pen name. She gave me a lot of advice and I would like to give her my sincere thanks. Let's all give her a hand.

(Cricket Chirps)

BCY: o.o'' Well anyway, let's start the story.

* * *

I still shiver in horror after that experience a few minutes ago. How dare that little brat do this to me? **(Um, Kiba? After being turned into a dog, I don't think that you should be calling Naruto little.) **Will you please just shut your damn trap? You don't know how terrifying it is! That _thing _just invaded my sacred areas! Oh my god, what am I gonna tell my future children? What would they say if they came from something that was touched by-**(Whoa, **_**way**_** too much information. Anyway, why would anyone want to marry you of all people?) **Shut up. **(Is that the only comeback you can think of?)**

Stupid author. Wait till I get my hands on you, then you'd wish you were never born!

"Hey little doggy, why are you at yourself?" That all too familiar and evil voice still haunts me in my dreams. **(Um, Kiba? It's only been five minutes.) **Shut up. Anyway, that _thing _was looking at me with its big evil eyes. I'm sure somewhere in that tiny wicked mind of his; a devilish scheme was forming to take over the world. Suddenly, my eyes snapped into focus with dreaded realization.

"Ah-ha! I have seen through your evil plot! First you were gathering an army of cats and dogs, then you're gonna dress them in pink tutus and make them infiltrate the Hokage's Mansion!" I screamed hysterically. Of course, nobody understood me since I was a dog, but I didn't care. "You've been planning to kidnap Obama this entire time! BUT HA! I'M TELLING YOU NOW, I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT!"

**(Kiba… ARE YOU ON FRIGGIN CRACK?) **No…well maybe. **(Did you steal candy from Konohamaru and get high off of them?) **No. He would be coming after me with pitchforks if I did. **(Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?) **No, how could I- wait, how did you know? **(HA! I KNEW IT!)**

My cheeks turned red as the truth came out. I decided to take what dignity I had left and focus on Naruto. Uh-oh. My eye widen in horror as I saw what was in his hand. It was a device that was feared by Inuzukias all over the world! This device was the source of our screams of terror and is why all of us sleep with a night light. It's the horrible, terrifying, unjust, evil, malicious, ugly frightful, appalling, and atrocious-

**(Dude, calm down. Its just a collar)** It's a friggin SHOCK COLLAR! **(That's what you get for screaming so much earlier.) **I was just about to yell at him again when Naruto Pinned me down to the ground and wrapped the hideous gadget torture tool around my neck. At that moment, I knew my life was over.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO-" my howl was suddenly a painful shock on the back of my neck. How did it feel? Well, I'd love to tell you that I took it like a man, but since it felt worse than smelling a certain blonde's fart during the Chunin Exams, I pretty much almost fainted. "AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH-OW!"

"Doggy, you have to be quiet or the neighbors are gonna kill us!" Naruto pleaded desperately. I quickly snapped my muzzle shut. Getting chased by _another_ mob doesn't sound too exciting to me. In, fact, excitement was the last thing I need because I feel like I'm about to collapse.

I heard Naruto breathe a sigh of relief as I settled down on his couch. He slowly walked away toward his bedroom and turned off the lights.

Let me tell you something. If I knew anything on the laws and physics of the speed of light, it would be that it gets here too early in the morning. There I was, having my beauty sleep, then the next thing I knew Mother Nature was shining her jumbo flashlight in my eyes.

I yawned and stretched, then looked around while rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I then miraculously discovered that trying to rub your eyes with dog paws was _not _a good idea since you would end up finding mysterious pieces of fur stabbing into your optical organ. **(Congratulations! Captain Obvious just won the Idiot Prize! *hands him a trophy made out of several burned cookies(I wonder where those came from?)*) **I sneezed, causing the poisonous food to fly into the author's face with the force of a bullet. Serves him right. **(YOU ARE DEAD! YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!) **YOUR MOM!

The author was about to smack me over the head with a frying pan when Naruto skipped cheerfully into the room, humming a song that sounded suspiciously like Miley Cyrus. Upon hearing the horror of the song, combined with the blonde's gruesome voice, the author promptly disappeared with a poof of smoke from my mind. Wait. All that author stuff was happening in my head? Wow, I really need a good doctor. **(The good doctors with the long pointy needles?)**

"Little doggy, it's time for your first visit to the vet!" Naruto announced a bit too cheerfully. Speak of the devil! Before I could do anything, Naruto leashed my collar and dragged me outside.

Not that I don't like walks, but if the path leads anywhere near the damn vet center, I'm outta here. Although somehow, after running over four hot dog stands, and being dragged into a certain shop with a certain old lady and getting several smacks with a broom along with something involving a can opener, Naruto managed to drag me into the torture cent- I mean the Animal Center. We waited at the front desk for a while so that the blonde could talk to the nurse. I almost fell asleep before I was lifted onto a metal table. My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as a young lady with a large white coat and green rubber gloves walked toward me. And, in her hand was the _biggest frickin' needle I've ever seen. _I know what you're thinking. Aw, is Kiba afraid of a teeny tiny needle? Well heck I am! That thing was at least a foot long and the vaccine in it smelled like friggin seagull splat! **(How do you even know what that smells like?) **Mind your own business!

I was so busy arguing with the author that I didn't notice how close the needle was. Suddenly, thanks to my ninja reflexes, I discovered that I could still use a few jutsus in my dog form.

Meanwhile, halfway across the village, Tsunade was being forced to look over a pile of "very important documents." Every now and then, her eyes would slowly close before snapping open due to being hit over the head with a folder by Shizune.

Tsunade studied one of the files for a second **(*gasp* It's a new record!) **before opening her mouth to say something. She was immediately cut off by her assistant.

"If you're asking for another bathroom break, the answer is no. You just had one five minutes ago!" Shizune stated sternly.

"No, it's not that," Tsunade said slowly. "I was looking at the insurance records of the village and I was wondering why the Kohona Animal Center was charged so much money. It's five times more than other businesses." Shizune suddenly winced at the question.

"Well, you see… the dogs there get really-"

"HELP! Lady Tsunade, we need your medical assistance immediately!" A doctor suddenly shouted from the other side of the office door. The Hokage quickly jumped up and threw the door open.

"Is it life threatening?" she demanded. "And how was the victim injured?" The doctor gulped under the leader's authority.

"There's a girl waiting in the emergency room." He replied. "She has large gashes on her body, especially her hands. The call for her ambulance was from the Kohona Animal Center."

The Hokage's facial expression suddenly went from extremely serious to simply dumbstruck.

"Does that answer your question?" Shizune sighed.

* * *

BCY: Yayz! Another chapter complete!

Kiba: Hey have you seen Naruto? I haven't heard him screaming for a while.

(Naruto is seen on the ground with foam coming out of his mouth)

BCY: OMG! What happened to him?

Kiba: He ate one of your cookies.

BCY: ! Are you implying that my masterful baking skills are flawed?

Kiba: Pretty much.

BCY: _**SIT!**_

*Insert loud exploding noises here*

BCY: Well, thanks for reading! And don't forget to review!

Kiba: (from inside a giant crater) If you don't, BCY will force feed you with his cookies!

BCY: *Looks away innocently* I would never do that! But I would greatly appreciate it if you could give me more ideas to torture Kiba with. All ideas will be carefully considered by me.

So move the mouse down to the button over there and click!

l

l

V


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